Seducing a woman who is already attached is generally morally deplorable, but at the same time as the old saying goes ‘all’s fair in love and war’ and if you really think you are falling for someone, sometimes their being in a relationship might not be enough to dissuade you from trying to win them over anyway. At the same time it is not fair to judge without knowing the circumstances as this might be an ex, their relationship might be new, or the guy might be a jerk. Either which way, it certainly still presents a challenge; so how do you go about seducing or winning over an attached woman?
Well knowledge is power, so first of all you need to assess the weaknesses in the opponent’s armour. However perfect the relationship seems, there are always going to be elements she is not happy with – maybe he is not ambitious enough, maybe he is always away, maybe he is not very demonstrative. What you then have to do is of course exploit this weakness by making yourself seem like everything he is not. The mistake is to mimic him – thinking that if she likes him then that is the type of guy she goes for – however the reality is that she is not going to leave her man for an exact clone of him but is more likely to want to try something new.
So if he is got no ambition you need to make yourself seem as successful and driven as possible. Similarly if he never tells her he loves her, you can tell her that she is a great friend and you think she is an amazing person. She will then miss this kind of demonstrative behaviour when she returns to her relationship and the deficit will further outline that weakness. To learn these weaknesses you will have to gain the trust of one of them, or a close friend, or simply observe them closely. This all sounds a bit Machiavellian and under-handed but you are trying to get with a taken woman – what did you expect?
The next step is to shed doubt on the guy’s good qualities. For example when she asks you what you think, do not say you do not like him – instead say you do but make it somehow unconvincing. Whatever else, this will get her thinking about what could be wrong with him, and that can only be bad for his relationship. Do not be too obvious about it, but instead make it subtle. If you are obvious she might catch on to what you are doing, or start to dislike you as a result. If you have the resources then an even more powerful technique is to get her friends and your mutual acquaintances to similarly shed doubt, and even to act differently towards him at group events to perform a freeze out of sorts that will upset him and get her wondering why he does not ‘fit in’.
The most damning evidence will come from him himself though, so a particularly smart move is to provoke him into sealing his own fate. For example try placing extra pressure on him if you have the ability, at work, at school or wherever else; and this should start to effect his relationships. Similarly if you can spend a lot of time with her then this should start to make him jealous and it is not called the green eyed ‘monster’ for nothing – quickly he will start acting irrationally and unfairly. To which you respond ‘do not worry I understand, I will go home’. Playing the perfect martyr and making sure she wishes she was with you instead of him at that time.
Meanwhile you set yourself up to be the perfect boyfriend material. Make sure you are having lots of dates so you do not seem needy, but do thoughtful things like texting her to tell her if there is something on TV she might like. Gradually you will begin to seem like an angel while he becomes the devil. Slowly increase the amount of time you spend with her and become as close as you can. Apart from anything else she will want what she can not have which will work in your favour in this particular scenario.
Next to get on with the actually seducing you need to preferably get her away from her normal settings. For some reason when we are away from home we feel like we can act out of character, and more to the point we know no one’s watching. Make sure you are having as much fun as possible – playing a drinking game, chatting, clubbing – and push the boundaries as much as possible by putting your hand on hers, or by holding her gaze a little longer than normal. Then in the heat of the moment try kissing her quickly before immediately pulling away and making sure you look as though you feel guilty about it too. If she pulls you back, or looks at you longingly then you are in, but if she turns you down you can just hope that she spends the night thinking about you and that this eventually develops into something more. Another useful factor is that even though you kissed her in this scenario, it will still make her feel guilty which will result in her either having a ‘to hell with it’ attitude, or coming clean to her boyfriend which could well still be the end of the relationship – particularly after you have already built up his suspicions. Then if he leaves her, you will be the obvious choice for who to turn to.
Failing this then she is obviously in a very happy relationship and is not going to crack. The only other option is to confess your love to her, but if she is that happy and you really do love or even like her, then you might do better to let it be.